Wow after being on the road for a long time and not really having a clear plan of what are the next steps, I fell into a bit of a hole, a post travel grief.
Filled with love, family and friends. Yet empty. My soul feels like it wants to keep exploring but my nervous system wants grounding, stability and peace.
My nervous system is still landing after all this time on the road, and grieving. Grieving a life, a version of myself and the feeling of freedom.
It feels serious, because I am integrating, not performing joy, not escaping into lightness but feeling deeply.
Being in between worlds, in between identities and in between rythms feels like this hole. But the hole is not emptiness, it is a space or my next life to form.
But now what, creating a slow living inside a fast environment. Sacred mornings with cacao and yoga, cooking food with intention, choosing meaningful interactions and walking slow, keeping a soft nervous system. This is mastery.
I could go back to certain places I visited, but what if I don’t integrate the lessons? Then you recreate the same cycle, recieve more insigths but stil not embody them.
Integration is not this glamorous thing, I am back in my parents house, feeling out of place, questioning everything, not feeling like my high self and rebuilding.
But I know it will pass, I know all will be well. This is just a moment of grounding.
A beautiful remembrance is that I do not need much to feel good, space, slowness, autehnticity, a bit of beauty and connection!
miracles of the moon ☽ 