When we sit with ayahuasca, we often expect “her” to speak directly to us, to deliver crystal-clear answers and instructions. But most of the time, ceremony is not a conversation with a separate being. It’s an intimate journey into our own inner world, our subconscious mind.
Yes, sometimes it feels like she speaks. And yes, there can be moments when messages come through in a very direct way. But in my experience, much of what happens in ceremony is our subconscious communicating with us in the language it knows best: symbols, memories, and metaphors.
The language of symbols
I remember one ceremony where I saw a vivid scene of a girl being kidnapped. I saw it from her perspective, feeling her fear, the confusion, the helplessness. For a moment, it was so real that I questioned everything. But later, I understood, I was the girl.
In the years before, I had watched a lot of kidnapping documentaries, so my mind had a ready-made visual library. Ayahuasca uses images we understand, much like dreams do. And for me, that kidnapping was symbolic. It was showing me how I had been “kidnapping” myself from my own potential by abusing alcohol and engaging in self-destructive patterns.
Ceremony often works like that. I once heard someone claim during ceremony that they were reliving abuse in childhood. And while this may have been a literal memory for them, I also know that ayahuasca often uses such intense imagery to point toward deeper emotional truths, feelings of violation, betrayal, or loss of power, not always literal events.
Or as they told me in the retreat center in Peru: “Messages or visions that you can get in a ceremony should not be interpreted as a literal truth. For example, if you see your partner and you see babies it might not mean that your partner is the chosen one and that you will have babies together, it might just as well be ayahuasca trying to point out that the two of you are sometimes relating to each other like babies. Ayahuasca visions should be interpreted the same way as dreams, and even maestros with much experience know to look and to verify a vision several times to confirm or unconfirm it.“
The key is: not everything you see is meant to be taken at face value. The medicine speaks in the language of your subconscious, and that language is symbolic.
More is not always better
Another important lesson I’ve learned is that with ayahuasca, more cups do not necessarily mean a deeper or better journey. One of the maestras I trust explained this clearly: the more you drink, the less likely you are to remember the messages.
I’ve experienced this myself. In some ceremonies where I drank a lot, the experience became so overwhelming and disorienting that I couldn’t piece together what had happened afterward. The clarity was lost in the intensity.
Sometimes the most profound healing comes from a gentler, steadier experience. Listening to the maestro, trusting their guidance on dosage, and allowing the medicine to work at its own pace is far more valuable than chasing intensity.
Trust the process
Ayahuasca is a teacher who meets us where we are. She speaks in our own symbolic language, drawing from our life experiences, memories, and imagination to help us see ourselves more clearly.
The work is not just about what happens in ceremony, but about how we integrate those insights afterward. And sometimes, the clearest messages come when we slow down, take less, and give space for the medicine to work in ways our conscious mind can actually hold on to.
miracles of the moon ☽ 