Saying no is not always an easy task. But it’s necessary. Especially while traveling I’ve noticed so many pushy people.
Which I have compassion for also, western people with (according to them) a lot of money, come to your country and it’s an opportunity. Fair enough.
But it’s so intense. Especially as a solo female traveler it’s really annoying. I met some girls traveling and one night we went for dinner and we realized within that week we all had a awful story to share.
A men following one girl, a men showing his genitals to another girl in public etc etc. A men being pushy when you say no…
We realized that all of us had a story like this. We all have many but that it happened to all of us within a week is yet another sign of how alive this problem is.
I just arrived back to Indonesia and my taxi ride from the airport to the harbor – the men wanted to sell me a boat ticket for the next day. I told him no. I told him no again. I explained to him I was tired and I wanted to sleep in the next day and not be “stuck” to a ticket of a certain time. I wanted to see tomorrow. No again. He wanted to collect the payment from me that night so I could book with him in the morning – I said: I said no. I think I told him around 6 times. In the end he decided that I would text him in the morning what time I wanted the boat and leave the payment to the owner of my home stay. I just let it go.
Another day I am walking on the side of the road. A men yells at me, I just nod with my head, move my hands in a no signal and ignore. He comes driving after me. Stops. I take out my headphones. He asks if I want a tour tomorrow. I say no. He proceed to look for his card or number. I say I don’t want. Then he looks strange at me and continues looking for it in his bag. I tell him again: I don’t want. Firmly and gently. He seems to get it, but still he looks confused and a bit hurt. He asks if I want a ride to my hotel. Again I say no. He drives off. Why not listen to the initial no?
It’s not just Asia that’s the problem. This happens everywhere. All around the world. Every culture. It’s awful.
It’s exhausting. It’s annoying. The worse part is that there’s 1000 of stories like this. In the past I used to give in at some point. Just give my number and block this person later. Just to get rid of this men.
But not anymore. I now use the phrase: no. Or no my instagram is for friends and family only. No I don’t want. No it’s ok. I’m still polite – most of the time I thank them for offering. But to be honest that can even stop.
It’s not all men – but it’s always men. The reference where you look at a box of chocolate and 1 out of 4 is poison – would you eat them? That’s why woman have to be careful.
It’s something that makes me genuinely so mega angry. The discomfort these men put you through. They don’t listen to any boundary. Just push push and push more. It has to stop. It’s a collective anger…
I know it’s not only men either, this is a polarizing way of looking at it. But at this moment in time – this is the problem.
These is just the tip of the iceberg why feminism is a necessity – men need to stop being pushy. Bye.
miracles of the moon ☽ 