Lessons on boundaries are so interesting. To state them and get people out of your field – creates space.
Space for you to be true to you again. Which creates this amazing feeling of flow and joy.
There are so many boundaries you can put, the right people (for your path) will listen and anticipate. The wrong people (for your path) will not accept and fight against – they are to be removed.
I realized anxiety comes when your actions are not aligning with your souls desires.
Anxiety rises when boundaries are not being put. The beauty of this is that this is within your control.
All you have to do is send a message – it doesn’t have to be explaining your side. It does not have to be sharing too much. It can just be the boundary – I don’t want to be in contact. I don’t want to meet. I don’t want you in my life or energy field. I want to cut the cord.
There are no bad people in the world – everyone has goodness inside. But there are people who are not good for your path or even bad for your path. It is important to let them go.
Some questions I reflect on while writing this post.
Q: don’t people deserve an explanation?
Maybe – yes or no. Depending. On one hand I think it is nice to explain certain motives and why you act the way you act. It will help with the persons healing process, stop them from overthinking a situation. But – this is not your job or responsibility. You can not heal everyone, that’s not a job for you. People can calmly respond to your boundary and if they ask – you can answer if you want.
Q: is it mean to state a boundary after people have invested time, money and energy in you?
No. It’s authentic to stay true to yourself. A lot can shift in a short period of time. People are responsible for their own actions – they also choose to invest themselves. It can feel mean, it can feel like you owe them a meeting or something just because they invested this. It’s important to stay true to yourself. To meet someone or give attention because you feel like you have to, or you feel like you owe them is not fair. It’s also not what the other person wants.
Q: history bounds us and it feels like it’s been so long our paths have crossed, how can I let go of that?
Sometimes we mis align at some moment. Even if our journey together has been many years. It can feel like we have to stay in contact or stay friends just because of all the history. But this is also not accurate. We change, we evolve. Sometimes people change with us in the same direction – sometimes they don’t. It’s normal. It’s also time to let this go. Have trust that if you go the same direction again: your paths will cross. Let it fizzle out – or just communicate you need space at this moment.
Q: what if someone takes my boundary in the wrong way and gets angry or tries to convince me for another opinion?
It’s important to keep in mind to communicate our boundaries in a gentle and kind way. Don’t blame anyone. Keep it to yourself. Stay true to yourself. Explain that you need space.
Put yourself in the shoes of the receiver: how would you feel if someone communicates a gentle boundary? Why would you even want to go against that? Where is your own self respect? Why would you want to spend time with someone who doesn’t want to spend time with you?
It’s strange and a red flag when someone gets angry. They are not emotionally mature and don’t know how to regulate their emotions. Which is a them problem. You are not responsible for anyone’s emotions or inner world. It’s also strange and a red flag when someone tries to convince you to take another stand point – that’s not respecting your boundary.
The end of the questions – let me know if others pop into your head after reading this one, I’m happy to seek more answers.
Practice with small boundaries in your life – say when you don’t want to eat a specific meal. Speak up when you are tired and want to go home with your friends. Little by little – step by step – we’ll get there!
Want to talk about something – learning how to listen to your inner compass? Send me a message – light to you!
miracles of the moon ☽ 